Sunday, February 21, 2010

THE THINGAMYJIG by John Townsend

It arrived in the post, just a small package. I was not expecting anything, so I was very curious as who had sent this and what it might be.

So in eager excitement I unwrapped the package, and was pleased to find a letter folded around a cardboard box.
The letter said,'Please forgive me, I shall forever be in you debt. Perhaps you will accept this that has perplexed me for such a long time, so much so it has made me a nervous wreck. I had no one to turn to, where ever I left it people saw. So they always returned it, I think you will understand, I am sure.'
Well as I read it I admit I was a trifle nervous as to what it might be. The box was too small for it to be a Python, a Crocodile, so what was it. After a short period of thought about the letter with it, I decided to open the box.
Inside was a round object with a key protuding on one side, like a clockwork mechanism key. I picked it up and looked at it, then noticed a printed note inside the box, instructions. Ah ha I thought, then read. 'Instructions for The THINGAMYJIG' I laughed at its name, then was shocked as the round object declared aloud. 'Wind me up, wind me up.' Which it incessantly repeated over and over, non stop.
I anxiously read the rest of the instructions which simply said. 'Always wind up, never disregard. Insanity is just moments away.'
Oh my I though, as I found myself doing as instructed, winding the round object up. It was then with great relief that the object ceased to shout demands of 'Wind me up.' What a relief that was.
I was not impressed with the sender one bit, nor was I later that afternoon when the Thingamyjig started to shout out its demands once again.
Do not ask me why I obeyed it and wound it up, leave it there I did. That evening, through the night, all through the next day and into the week ahead. It was driving me mad.
I did try to leave it in supermaket, but a shop assitant came running over with it, 'I think this is yours sir.' she said, I nodded politely. In fact every time I attempted to dump it, it came back.
After a month I was a sleep deprived nut, and shouted at the round object in full throttle. My behaviour changed, friends noticed I was off and avoided me.
In the end I decided to send it to anyone, for the last time I wound it up, put it in a box and addressed it to President Obama The White House, Washington.
I hurried to the Post Office and dispatched it. With great relief I watched as it was dropped into the mail bag.
When I arrived home there was a note pushed through my door, 'Wind me up, wind me up.'
Is this a wind up I thought.

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