Sunday, February 21, 2010

CARELESS CLARISSA by John Townsend

It was the evening of the Theatrical Awards at Londons Liecester Square, red carpets rolled out, more photographers than artists, and Clarissa, reporter for HaireeTV, what more could you ask for.

The highlight of the evening was the arrival of Bob Fusz, the star of the box office smash 'No Time For Turnips'
Clarissa was there ready to catch his eye as soon as he stepped out of his limo. What she did not know was that Bob Fusz was not what he appeared. In his movies he was seen as a six foot six pack, ready to blow all contenders away just at the flick of his hair. In truth he was four foot ten inches and wore incredable built up shoes that he could barely navigate, he had no six pack, just a body belt to tuck it all in, and to cap all that he was not endowed with a head of hair that the movies show, he was balding on top with sprouting hair at the sides.
However this was the Artist Awards, and he was the star attraction, so he was decked out like the movie images.
As his limo pulled alongside the long red carpet, Clarissa moved in, her heart pounding at the thought of interviewing her dream star.. From the moment he stepped out, as soon as his feet settled on the red carpet, she was there.
The limo door was held open as he stood upright, and cameras flashed all around. His face beamed a huge sanitized smile that exploded in the camera flashes, causing Clarissa's eyes to play tricks, to mis-judge her footing. It was this that caused her to catch her shoes in the edge of the red carpet, with the microphone outstreahed she fell headlong towards Bob Fusz, who made an attempt to catch her, being the man he is, however it did not go according to plan.
As she fell forward and he reached to catch her, he destablised himself in his five inch built up shoes, he lost balance and went down ontop of Clarissa. The microphone picked up his words as he fell, it sounded like, "Awe you stupid bitch!"
Clarissa being Clarissa heard what she wanted to hear and was overcome with her dream man wrapped on top of her. She though he said give us a kiss. So she did just that and he struggled to get away. It was as he did that she reached to touch his hair, but as he stood up, assisted by a group of attendants, she found herself holding his hairpiece.
Annoyed and angry he turned to return to the limo, which unfortunately was moving away to let another pull in, and at the same time Clarissa had grabbed a hold of Bob Fusz trousers to pull herself up and off of the floor.
Well one thing led to another, she unwitingly pulled his trousers down to reveal his body built, along with some fat lumps hanging over the top.
He was quickly moved into another limo while Cl;arissa was dragged away by the attendants, while unbeknown by them still holding Bob Fusz trousers. There was a loud rip as well as a lot of laughter, but careless Clarissa had made what could have been her last interview for HaireeTV.

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